Index

Facts about me

I only feel like myself when I’m dancing around a penthouse apartment in a fur coat, drinking champagne from the bottle. He’s watching me, laughing, with his wallet out and his dick hard. I’m painted like a sad sixties movie star. At 2am I lie in bed with my head on his chest. It’s black & white, but I know my tongue shines like rubies, wet & glossy. Is he watching me sleeping? I’m getting warmer but I don’t want him to see me soften just yet. When I try to go he stops me with his hands around my throat. If I say no then I’m a ghost & I’ve never been the kind of girl who fades out like a star. I’m neon signs & prison bars. Give love and then I take it. I’ve been taken from the most. Sometimes I think I’m so pure that my blood runs clear like holy water & everyone who looks into my eyes will know that I don’t fall in love. I fall from heaven. He thinks I’m here to save him…. Face of an angel & the body of a porn star. The men play cards and split cash like God is watching but he keeps his eyes shut tight, like I do at night when they touch me like a rose, only petals, no thorns… but where they see a halo, i see horns.

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types of girls

types of girls: 1. syrup that tastes so sweet but leaves a stickiness that won’t leave 2. docile dandelions that blow away and leave you forever 3. animal bones that crush under your jaw 4. home

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biggest fear

A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their lover’s once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.

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